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Signs That You May, In Fact, Be Obsessed With Fossils


Missourian

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You get rid of your large tv and replace it with a trophy case so that you can display and look at your fossils.

 

You mumble "Megalodon" instead of "Rosebud" on your deathbed.

 

You can't use your outdoor patio because your table is full of soaking and etching fossils and the hydrochloric acid fumes eat your lungs.

 

You memorize "The Index Fossils of North America" instead of the Old Testament for your catechism class because you thought that it was the bible.

 

You use your toilet tank to soak and clean your coprolites.

 

Your house is infested with trilobites instead of cockroaches and your landlord sends you a nasty letter because he cannot tell the difference.

 

The swat team breaks into your house to investigate the skeletons in your closets because your neighbors, the Kravitz's, overheard you talk about skeletons.

 

You have no room in your freezer for your favorite ice cream beacause it is full of Mason Creek nodules.

 

Your wallet has no room in it for a credit card to purchase more fossils because it is full of your fossil photos instead of photos of your family.

 

You skip your bachelor party to go fossil hunting.

 

For your wedding, you are only registered at Fossils R Us.

 

Instead of the Renaissance fair you go to the fossil fair where you dress up as an Oxfordian ammonite.

 

You pay attention to the river level report instead of the snow or surf report to persue your favorite hobby.

 

Help @Tidgy's Dad, think of some more good ones. 

 

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My goal is to leave no stone or fossil unturned.   

See my Arizona Paleontology Guide    link  The best single resource for Arizona paleontology anywhere.       

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8 minutes ago, Spongy Joe said:

When your wedding cake looks like this? :)

 

 

wedding cake.jpeg

You mean that you did not have a sponge cake?

My goal is to leave no stone or fossil unturned.   

See my Arizona Paleontology Guide    link  The best single resource for Arizona paleontology anywhere.       

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2 hours ago, Dantheman135 said:

When you sleep with a  good fossil 

on your nightstand because you’re afraid someone will mess with it ;)

 

True story

image.jpg

When you keep a fossil and prepping tool on your night stand to be able to prep just a few more minutes before turning out the light.

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I have not read the whole thread so pardon me if I duplicate anyone else’s posts.

 

*When your kitchen looks like a mud bomb went off in it after you’ve rinsed or scrubbed your fossils. I seriously need to get an outdoor wash station setup in my backyard.

 

*When one side of your sink is often filled with fossils that are soaking before prep.

 

*When you are buying new shoes simultaneously thinking you are buying a new box for fossil storage.

 

*When your flowerbed edging is being replaced with giant inoceramus clam and ammonite fragments.

 

*When you contemplate buying a special dolly suited to carry out that really large fossil from the creek you’ve been wanting, but can’t lift or haul out. Then try to figure out if there is a way to rig a pulley and boom system to load it into your trunk once out of the creek.

*When your daughter jokingly tells you to “Get off your fossil Mom” like you tell her to get off her phone.

*When you carry fossils to be prepped in your purse or lunch bag along with a few prep tools.

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9 minutes ago, KimTexan said:

 

*When you carry fossils to be prepped in your purse or lunch bag along with a few prep tools.

So, that's why I see so many knitting needles in purses today.

My goal is to leave no stone or fossil unturned.   

See my Arizona Paleontology Guide    link  The best single resource for Arizona paleontology anywhere.       

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4 hours ago, DPS Ammonite said:

So, that's why I see so many knitting needles in purses today.

Hum, maybe one for you should be *When you stay up all night surfing TFF.

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When your only worry about dying is who will inherit your fossil collection.

 

Where everywhere you go you see fossils, a bizarre form of pareidolia .

Even the newspaper headlines all relate to palaeontology.

 

When you drive anywhere or go on holiday, you are checking the routes and destination for fossil sites and fossil shops.

 

When the guests cannot come into your sitting room because the spare sofas are all covered in fossils.

 

When every day i watch out for the postman; "Please let him come, please let it be fossils."

 

When you hate Sundays because there is no post.

 

When eating and sleeping  are annoying interruptions to your fossil prepping, identification and participation on TFF

 

When your adored tortoise has to climb onto your fossils to get any attention.

When your adored wife has to climb onto your fossils to get any attention. 

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Life's Good!

Tortoise Friend.

MOTM.png.61350469b02f439fd4d5d77c2c69da85.png.a47e14d65deb3f8b242019b3a81d8160-1.png.60b8b8c07f6fa194511f8b7cfb7cc190.png

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When you fantasize about strip mining your neighbourhood down to the bedrock.

 

When your dining room table is so full of fossils everyone has to eat on their lap.

 

When you start stalking dump trucks coming out of construction sites to find out where they are dumping their material.

 

When in the depths of a long, snowy winter you hide your own fossils throughout the house in order to rediscover and collect them again.

 

When you turn absolutely every conversation with anyone into fossil shop talk.

 

When you look lustily at earth-moving equipment.

 

 

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...How to Philosophize with a Hammer

 

 

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Good ones, everyone... I can relate to a number of them:

Not being able to host music rehearsals because the space is taken up by fossils,

Fantasizing about strip-mining the neighborhood...

"You might be a fossil nut if..."

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I haven’t gone so far as to consider the strip mining, but I have imagined all that would turn up if places were dug up and had fossil fantasies of how wonderful it would be.

Yep, you know you’re a fossil addict when you have fossil fantasies of finding _______. Insert the fossil of your dreams in pristine condition with no matrix or finding a whole field or creek full of them.

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45 minutes ago, Nimravis said:

I’m glad none of these apply to me. :)

 

You guys have real issues.

How about....

When You hit concretions with a hammer on a daily basis just to see if there is a fossil inside, even after smashing Your fingers.

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Darwin said: " Man sprang from monkeys."

Will Rogers said: " Some of them didn't spring far enough."

 

My Fossil collection - My Mineral collection

My favorite thread on TFF.

 

 

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When you add your bills up in money you could have spent on fossil or as I call it fossil currency

 

“ the electric bills has gone up this month it is two good trilobites and a ammonites “  :)

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1 hour ago, ynot said:

How about....

When You hit concretions with a hammer on a daily basis just to see if there is a fossil inside, even after smashing Your fingers.

To clarify, I did not smash my finger(s) , I smashed my palm and the hitting of concretions is kind of like house cleaning since I am trying to reduce the number of buckets that I have. :)

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When your at school and you should be doing work but your daydreaming about your next fossil trip :P

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On 3/8/2016 at 4:56 PM, Pterodactyl said:

When a robber breaks into your house and thinks "There ain't nothing but odd shaped rocks for me to steal!"and just misses your tyrannosaurus tooth.

 

When you worry more about burglars breaking your 'uninteresting' rocks to get to your 'valuables' than stealing the 'valuables' (this is a real concern, BTW :) ).

Context is critical.

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When You bring home buckets of rocks hoping some will have fossils in them.

10 hours ago, Nimravis said:

I am trying to reduce the number of buckets that I have. 

 

Admit it - You are one of Us!:P

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Darwin said: " Man sprang from monkeys."

Will Rogers said: " Some of them didn't spring far enough."

 

My Fossil collection - My Mineral collection

My favorite thread on TFF.

 

 

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You can reduce the number of buckets by filling them with fossils. :)

Context is critical.

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Your wife thinks you’re having an affair because your on a roadcut out of cell service for hours in the middle of the day.

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26 minutes ago, erose said:

Your wife thinks you’re having an affair because your on a roadcut out of cell service for hours in the middle of the day.

Some wives demand that the “find friends” locating app be turned on at all times for just that reason...then some husbands retort with “why would I waste perfectly good collecting time like that?”....posting for a friend

Grüße,

Daniel A. Wöhr aus Südtexas

"To the motivated go the spoils."

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when you successfully convince your wife to get married on top of a triceratops skeleton.  Or least that's what we think it is.  It remains in the field, uncollected.  But she went along with it.  

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  • 1 year later...

You move cross country (Calif to Alaska) and half the shipping weight was rock!

 

Edit; and now every friend you have says they will never help you move again because the 100lb piece of petrified wood hurt there back!

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